Desideratum
by subaruxkamui4ever
Summary: Seto Joey yaoi. Joey's been asking Seto some strange questions lately, and Seto realizes that he may not have all of the answers after all. When Joey spills some very interesting information, Seto is forced to look at Joey in a very different light.
1. Wish

Desideratum

A Seto Centric Thing by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: Don't ask me what this is. I meant to update Eidolon, and I got this. But I am going to take this opportunity to answer a question that I have been asked countless times. I'm not irritated or anything, I just meant to answer this sooner and forgot. In all of the Seto and Joey fanfiction I have ever written, never once have I mentioned any of the other characters from Yu-Gi-Oh, and I get a lot of reviews from people who are curious to know why. Here is what I have to say on this matter. Bear in mind that I do like the other characters...well...some of them. So this isn't meant in offense to people who like pairings other than Puppyshipping. I don't. Anyway, this is the Shining Excuse that I have to give you for my indifference to the other characters:

If there were no other characters, Yu-Gi-Oh would be a 224 episode-long series about Seto and Joey.

And who doesn't want that...?

* * *

"What is it all for?" 

I stared at him, no doubt with a very strange expression frozen on my face. For the first time in my life, I did not understand. What was it that he was asking me? What was that supposed to mean?

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I voiced my thoughts semi-unintentionally. He had thrown me a swift curve this time. This feeling that was rising from the depths, it...was unsettling. I find that most emotions are.

He looked at me, not with apprehension or anger, but with a small and silent questioning that I couldn't place. Concern, maybe. How utterly foolish.

"Why do you do it, Kaiba? What are you passionate about, really? What wakes you up in the morning?"

I glared at him so harshly that my line of vision nearly passed straight through him.

"Why do you ask me these things? You have no true concern for me or my well being, so why should I answer your ridiculous questions? Get out of my way."

I stepped forward and felt his reaction before it occured. He stepped to the side and blocked my path. The rage in me rose dangerously, and I raised my arm in an attempt to scare him. Perhaps now he might see the futility in his solicitation and just let it lie. If he was smart, he would. But I knew better. He merely stood before me, never blinking once in the face of violence and standing firm.

I wouldn't hit him now, it would be wrong to strike a blow to someone who didn't pose a threat. Highly undiginifed and brimming with a lack of self control, an image that I did not want to give to Joey, or anyone else who might be watching. The students had begun to gather around us, anticipating a show, but the crashing silence that surrounded the two of us proved to be harshly uninviting, and one by one they trailed off, searching for others elsewhere. We were now alone in the hallways of the school, facing the imminent afternoon together in this quiet battle of hesitation.

"I won't move, just so you know. And I know you won't hit me. That," he grinned knowingly,"would be undignified, wouldn't it?"

I made an awful grimace at him, but neither one of us moved. The entire situation reeked of emotion and feeling, and I for one did not want to participate in this strange game that Joey seemed to want to play with me. What had once been a relationship entirely devoted to insults had recently progressed, entirely on Joey's part, to an unpredictable series of investigations into my psyche. Which I had previously thought I did not possess, until this game of ours undertook it's metamorphosis. One night in particular perhaps a week earlier, I found myself at my home, completely alone and unoccupied by anything, and for some strange reason my treacherous mind would repeatedly find it's way back to the question Joey had asked me that day, the first question in a series of unwanted tresspasses into my soul. 'Where will all of your working take you?' In return I said the very first thing I could think of, startled by this sudden lack of aggression on his part.

Where would all of my working take me?

At first it seemed so illogical. 'What a stupid question', I had replied to him with a sneer. 'Look at how far I have come, at such a young age. Where are you, Joey? What have you done? You have brought nothing but sheer idiocy to this world, and you will never accomplish half of what I have finished at this age, even if you work away your entire life.' He simply stood there and smiled at me and my answer, as if he'd won. As if that was what he had thought I would say.

As if I was wrong.

I left him standing there, without another word. But later that evening, I found myself unable to think of anything else but the question. The question, and my answer. Was that the right answer after all? Did Joey know something that I did not? 'Impossible', I said to myself. 'That fool knows nothing, and he will amount to nothing, just as I stated earlier.' So if I knew that, and he knew that, then why was he smiling? And why was I still thinking about it?

I shook my head clear of these thoughts and focused on the situation happening before me. Joey stood there, patient and well tempered, and fearlessly waited for me to react.

"No, I will not become physically violent with someone who is unable to properly defend themselves." There. Hopefully he would take the bait and sling an anwering insult back at me, thus reinstating the comfortable ways of old, the way things used to be for the two of us.

"So answer me, Kaiba. Why do you do it? What is it all for?" He looked up at me from so close, we were so close, he and I, and the small space between us was filled with tension. Or perhaps that was just me. Joey seemed to be perfectly calm and relaxed, exactly the opposite of what someone should realistically be in the face of Seto Kaiba.

"What? What is all what for? If I answer your idiotic question, will you get out of my way? I have to go to work. Not all of us can afford to just stand around here all day, achieving nothing!" I began to grow exasperated at his behavior. Who did he think he was, standing in my way? He of all people should know better.

And there it was again, that sneaking suspicion I got when I studied him too closely, he and that misplaced grin on his face. This sincere and confident expression that screamed 'I understand you, I _sympathize_ with you'. It drove me mad with rage, how could he possibly assume such an idea? No one knows a thing about me, and that is the way I prefer to continue.

"Just answer the question, Kaiba." Joey's tone was relaxed and full of an unhealthy amount of patience. He stood without movement, and watched my face closely.

"Well, I don't understand the question, so you'll have to be more specific." I honestly wanted to get out of there and back into the safety and silence of my solitary confinement, and if humoring this boy was all it took, I supposed I could be that generous. I didn't care, either way. None of this mattered. Small and insignificant moments like these rarely do.

"I want to know why you work so hard all the time. Do you ever want to do anything else with your life? Or are you planning on just spending all of your time on Kaiba Corp., until the day you die?" His face betrayed no underlying intent, no secret workings that I had suspected might be underway. He wasn't out to bring me down. He did not want to expose any hidden weaknesses, not that there were any to expose. Just what was it that Joey wanted? What did he hope to gain from all of this?

"I...suppose so." I had never really thought about it like that before. Was it the truth? "I don't see anything wrong with that." What could be wrong about it? I had everything. I had a true and real power, the power to control and limitless opportunity to obtain anything I wished to have or be. What else was there? I had always been so driven to succeed, and now that I had succeeded in all that I set out to do, there was nothing left to worry about. I had everything. Everything.

"I have everything." I stated simply, and looked down to see if he would be satisfied with that answer. It was the truth.

"Everything?" Joey was wide eyed and wore a curious expression, a sort of interested disbelief.

"Everything." What was so complicated about that? He looked at me as though I didn't understand. Stupid boy, it was he who did not understand.

"What do you mean by 'everything'?" He watched me closely, waiting for me to become angry once more. I didn't. It was strange, even to me, because normally this sort of illogical conversation would have driven me into a blind rage by this point. But I felt nothing at all, except a sinking sensation deep in the pit of my stomach. A feeling that rarely made itself known and only surfaced in the face of undeniable defeat. Why did I feel as though I were wrong? What was I missing?

"I mean everything that there is. Power, money, control, security... Everything that matters in life. I will never have to suffer or worry about anything, because I...have everything. These are the things that matter most. All other concepts and ideals are disposable. If you don't have these simple things, you cannot survive. I am guaranteed to survive as long as I am able, because of what I have taken for myself. Because I have everything." That sounded about right. It certainly made sense to me. Poor Joey looked like a lost puppy, with that pathetic look on his face. He had no clue what I was saying. I suppose I expected too much of him.

"Look, I gave you the answer you were looking for, so if you'll excuse me..." I decided that this little encounter had come to an end. I stepped aside and around Joey, who never once moved to stop me, and instead stood frozen in place, as if the stern and militant ideas I had given him were spinning out of control throughout his emotionally clouded mind. Whatever. I didn't care in the least.

* * *

As my head fell against the pillows that littered the mattress below me, I felt the weariness of the day suddenly consume me at once. I was always so exhausted by the time I made it to bed that I rarely if ever remembered anything past the point when my head hits the pillows. I tend to pass out rather than fall asleep. Thinking of this brought back the memory of before...earlier that day. Joey Wheeler, and the strange question that he insisted on having me answer. I vaguely wondered what he was doing with the information he seemed to so desperately need. I smiled dryly as I realized that he had most likely forgotten everything that was said by now. He was so carefree and unbridaled, and I seriously doubted that any of my harsh realities would have stuck with him for too long. 

What had he been after, I wondered. Why this sudden interest in the inner workings of my mind? None of it made any sense. It didn't fit... Something was happening, and I disliked the feeling already. I was not in control of this situation, Joey was, and the idea made me nervous at first, and then moments later slightly worried in addition. Anything that fell under his control was likely to end in tragedy. I supposed that if it really was just a harmless interest, then perhaps I could exploit it to my use. Information of that sort is always useful in the end. But what were Joey's motivations?

'What is it all for?'

God, his pathetic voice was echoing in my mind, relentlessly replaying the moment that he had asked me that question, hours ago. What was it about that idea that bothered me so much? I answered him with the Truth. It was the Truth, I spoke my mind at that moment and told him exactly how I felt. That was how I felt. I had always believed that the world was this way. I knew that I had everything I would ever need to be satisfied with life. I was satisfied with life. I was.

I caught myself repeating it, over and over again, my subconscious mind attempting to cast a spell over me. I was satisfied with life. I was. Nothing could change that. This was something I had, something I had taken for myself long ago, when no one else would give it to me. I had taken it. And no one could ever hope to take it back now. I had worked so hard to achieve all of this. I was satisfied. There was nothing that I could not have. Absolutely nothing.

With that final resolution, I fell fast asleep, and did not wake until the ringing of the alarm pulled me back to life.

I found myself, much to my dissatisfaction, face to face with none other than Joey Wheeler. Fifteen minutes before the very first bell was due to ring, he and I were locked in place, standing still in the center of the hallway, a mere foot or so seperating the two of us. It was far too early for this.

"What is it, Wheeler? I really don't have the patience to play your stupid games so early in the morning." I wasn't feeling even remotely generous at that moment. He didn't seem to mind. Day or night, the sun was always shining on Joey Wheeler, and his expression melted a bit of the ice that had frozen over my mind in the haze of the morning. It is slightly more difficult to be rude to people who aren't going to be bothered by your rudeness. I find it to be a waste of perfectly good rude remarks, which can be preserved for those who will take more offense to them. Waste not, want not.

"I only want to ask you something, really quick. Can I please? I promise I won't ask you anything else for the rest of today." He smiled in a sickening display of both hope and longing and the sight made me both nervous and nauseous at once.

"Whatever. Make it quick." It was a fair trade.

"Okay. So, now I understand what it's for. You work so hard so you can have everything. But now I don't understand something else..." He looked up into my face and I glared right back down.

"How surprising. What is it that you can't wrap your mind around? It's really all very simple." I was already irritated, and I hoped that this wouldn't last much longer. Why was I indulging him again? When had I decided that Joey was allowed to be this friendly with me?

"You have everything, right?"

I nodded smugly. I certainly did.

"Well, now that you have it, what will you do now?" He gave me a look that betrayed nothing but intense curiosity and a deep rooted interest in what I might have to say."What will you do with it, now that you finally have it? You've worked so hard, and now you can finally have what you wanted all this time. Now, what will this power grant you in return?"

The haughty look that had formerly graced my features was stilled in that moment, and I could feel it slowly sliding off and fading fast. My mind was working at lightning speed, and I felt that awful sinking sensation once again. What was it about this boy that drove me to question the very foundations I had built my entire life upon? I felt threatened, and I reacted without thinking, something I hardly ever do and always regret afterwards.

"I...I don't think you quite understand. There is nothing that I cannot have. That is what it's all for. The ability, the knowledge that I could satisfy my every desire with a mere command. Anything at all, whenever I wish."

Joey blinked at me, surprised at something. "Anything you wish?"

"Of course."

"Okay...then I guess my real question is, what do you wish for?"

What?

"What do I...wish for?"

He nodded solemnly. "Anything at all, whenever you wish. What will it be?"

"I..." I was at a loss, an end, trapped inside my own desires. What were they? What was left inside of me? There must have been something to drive me this far...where was it? Where was it now? And more importantly, why didn't I have it? Was there anything at all? Suddenly the entire world fell from beneath my feet, and I was lost and alone. I began to understand, slowly, why Joey had been curious to know these things. It must have been plain for him to see. I was caught up in my own world, unable to watch from the outside, as he was able to do. What was his reason for doing this? He had disrupted everything that I had. I became furious in that instant, but after a moment had passed it faded just as easily as it had arrived. He wasn't the one at fault. I could not answer his question, and I had promised him that I would. Oh, god, now he could follow me all day, asking me questions as he pleased. The deal was off.

I took a good long look at Joey, who was waiting for my answer. His face betrayed a hint of worry hidden beneath his features, but I brushed the thought aside. The last thing I needed was pity, especially Joey's pity. He himself was the most pitiful creature on earth.

"Seto...?" I heard my name falling from his lips and I glared at him sharply.

"Who gave you permission to call me by my name? You had better learn your place." I pulled myself up to my full height and collected my thoughts in one fell swoop. Pull it all together quickly, and bury it. Deep. Never to be seen again. No one will ever win. No one but me.

"I...I'm sorry...but you...you're..." He stuttered and tripped over his words until he gave up entirely and simply pointed at what he saw. His finger was lifted and directed at my face, and I put my hand to where he motioned, wondering what the hell he meant by that.

Wet. My face was wet, and I pulled my hand back from the skin slowly and looked at my fingers, rubbing them against one another. They were wet. My fingers were wet from where I had touched my face. My face...

I had, at some point, started to cry.

In a small and insignificant place that regrettably lived inside of me, I knew that I had been crying. However, that place was one that I had put from my mind long ago, and now I had no way of knowing what it could mean, what it felt like. What it meant to cry. Joey lost all of the expression in his features and set his face firmly, in an attempt to not make me feel even worse about what had happened. I saw right through his plan, and I did nothing. He meant no harm. He lifted his hand, so slowly at first, and then when he saw that I still had not moved away, he brought it up above his head and hesitantly touched the trail of tears with the finest and softest tips of his fingers, almost in awe. In shock, and what seemed to be guilt. He felt responsible. I stepped back and shook my head. No. This wasn't what was happening. I was satisfied. I was.

I walked away. I wasn't sure where I was going exactly. Anywhere but here. Away from him, and away from this feeling. He didn't call my name, and he did not try to follow me. I left the hallway, and as fast as I could I walked off the school grounds. I walked for a very long time. I suppose that I could have walked forever.

* * *

AN: Aw, hell. I think that I will continue this. How awful. It could stand as a one-shot, I suppose, but I feel as though there is more happening here. Hmmm. What do you think? Should there be another chapter? I can't decide. Oh, and since I decided to recommend songs that should be listened to while reading fiction, I have to say that the only song that should be heard while reading this is "You Could Walk Forever" by The Devics. It works so well. Argh. Seto is so sad and hollow inside... 


	2. Home

Desideratum

A Seto Centric Thingy by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: Here we go again. I really like Eidolon and I plan to finish it for sure, but this is my very first time ghost writing for Seto Kaiba, and he's a much tougher client than Joey ever was. Oh, Seto, I'm nothing more than a tool for you, aren't I? But bear in mind, if I am nothing without you than you are nothing without me. And I sincerely doubt that there are others out there willing to channel you and your snotty attitude for this long. I swear he's the one that's been keeping me up at night. Joey never did this to me. Being a medium for Joey was like a dream compared to this boy. I'm not an insulting kinda guy, but ever since I took on Seto, I've been pissing people off right and left. Seto, I hope you really appreciate the opportunity I'm giving you...He doesn't care, does he? Is he even listening? Hello...?

* * *

Seven, eight, nine... 

The footsteps I left behind were like an endless trail spinning into nowhere helplessly, spanning the entirety of Domino City. My toe hit a twig and cast it slightly aside, and I continued regardless. I never even saw it.

Eighty-one, eighty-two...

I would count to one hundred, and then begin again at zero. Each step had a number, an identity. Everything in it's place, nothing was amiss, and I was satisfied. I was.

Ninety-nine, Zero.

I stood still. This Zero seemed to call to me, in a strange way. This Zero was different from the countless others.

Zero. I tried to take another step forward. Zero. The step halted before it began, and I gave it up, knowing it would be futile. I looked up for the first time in a very long while, taking in my surroundings at long last. I found that I was nowhere I had ever seen before, and certainly nowhere I ever wanted to find myself. This was a terrible area of the city, where the houses and tiny apartment complexes were cramped and shoved together, all of them leaning this way and that way, searching for support and finding none. Both trash and hollow looking people littered the streets in disarray, misplaced and unkempt. It was dirty and unpleasant, and I wanted to go home. Wherever that may be. I thought about what that truly meant, to want to go home and to have no idea where home might be. I knew exactly where my house was, and precisely how to get there. But I did not want to go to my house. I wanted to go home.

"Anything at all...whatever I wish..." My voice cut through the distasteful air that surrounded the neighborhood, and I heard myself as I never had, lost and alone. No one here would hear what I had to say. No one here would care.

"What will it be?"

Home. I wanted to go home. Perhaps that wasn't the big, meaningful answer that I was supposed to have given Joey when he asked me that question, but right at that moment I had never wanted another thing as I did just then. It wasn't a solution, but it was a step in the right direction. But which way to step...? Which way was home?

Zero. I was frozen in place. A step in the right direction was a step into the unknown. A step into the dark, and a foolish one, no doubt. Best to stay put, and think things through. But wasn't that how I managed to get myself here in the first place? So intent on counting each step, making sure each calculated footfall fell exactly the way it was intended to. Each one a masterpiece in it's own right, and the beauty of each step had led me absolutely nowhere. No matter how much control I had over my footsteps, whether or not I had watched them so closely, I still had somehow ended up in this dilapidated mess of a community. I was missing something, something akin to 'the bigger picture'. I had failed to look up, and instead busied myself with the perfection of the moment. Was that how I did everything?

Perhaps that was the secret, the elusive hint that Joey had been discreetly trying to give to me time and time again, only to be scoffed at and disregarded by me. I wondered why he had cared to this extent. Well, it didn't matter here. Joey was somewhere else, and I was here. Standing here, unable to remove myself from Zero, and unable to answer any of the simple questions that I had never guessed would matter.

"What will it be, indeed? What do I wish for, exactly?"

Home. This place, wherever it was, was not my home. I wasn't entirely sure how I knew that, since I had never once been to a place I felt might be home. No, not home.

Home.

I heard myself and my thoughts, and I realized that what I had just said to myself may in fact be part of this problem. I had never once felt as though I were Home. So how could I be missing it, wanting it, if I didn't know what it was? How could anyone feel the absence of anything if they never even had it? There is no loss that comes before gain, only afterwards. No one can lose a thing they never had. So why this sudden craving?

Was this Joey's doing?

I thought back, racking my mind for a moment in time that I did not remember, hoping to recall anything that might have triggered this desire in me. Had he ever said anything about Home? Had he asked me about that?

No. Never. I don't forget anything, especially something as important as this. But, I thought with a small sensation of dread washing over me, I had never regarded those conversations with Joey as important. Well, perhaps it was time to start. I refused to enjoy them no matter what, and I definitely wasn't enjoying where I found myself at the time, but it seemed as though this strange game that Joey was playing was not just a game to him. It certainly wasn't any fun for me. Especially now.

I cried in front of Joey. Oh...hell. Now what could I do? I was so thankful that no one else had been around to see that particular slip up of mine, and I silently cursed myself and my wretched emotions for being so damned weak and submissive. I had to keep this thing together, or else it would all just come apart at the seams. I could feel it, plain and simple, deep in my chest and even further down, in a place that was probably not located anywhere on my person. I supposed one might say 'inside my heart' or something equally ridiculous. Wherever it was, it wasn't welcome here.

Joey was going to fix what he had torn inside me. I would make him do it. That little brat thought he could just waltz up to me, uninvited, and deconstruct my carefully constructed world to pieces with his...benevolence? Heh. He had better watch himself, because I was going to be on him twenty-four, seven. He'll never want to help another soul again.

Serves him right, digging around in people's hearts, where he wasn't wanted. I certainly didn't want...this. This upheavel, this revolt from within, and I knew that Joey wasn't to blame, but I also knew that he had become the catalyst for my undoing. And I wasn't too happy about that. Of all the people to cry in front of, it had to be Wheeler. That fool. Just the thought of him feeling sorry for me pissed me off.

"Seto...I mean...Kaiba!"

I began to wish that I had never gotten out of bed this morning.

I turned my head and followed the trail of noise until I came upon it's owner. Not more than twenty feet away and rapidly closing in, the sunny form of Joey approached me fast. His schoolbag was slung over his shoulder, and he ran at me smiling softly, as if he were happy to see me. It doesn't matter whether or not I was happy to see him. I wouldn't say it if it were so, anyway.

Zero. Zero. Zero. Damn it, feet. Move! He came up fast, and his lightly placed footfalls came to a slow and steady halt just a few feet from where I stood.

"What are you doing here?" I felt the need to question him before he started up with his philosophical nonsense. I could just feel it on the tip of his tongue.

He smiled at me in a funny way, as if I were joking. "What do you mean? I should ask you the same thing. I live here."

I looked at him without speaking. Wheeler lived in this dump? How fitting.

"What _are _you doing here, anyway? Don't you live, like, twenty miles that way?" He pointed exaggeratedly in the opposited direction, the way from which he'd come.

"Yes. I do." I felt no need to clarify myself further. It wasn't any of his business what I was doing, and although he did live here, he didn't own the area. I chuckled inwardly at the thought, however. That, too, would be fitting. Joey the slumlord.

"Okay..." Joey looked away from where I stood, either put off by my attitude or suddenly remembering the events that transpired the last time we had been so close. "Well, are you just going to stand there, or what? How long have you been here?"

"What's it to you? I don't feel the need to report to you every time I want to stand somewhere, so just go on to your shack and leave me alone." Even I could hear the pathetic tone in my voice, and I mentally cringed as I felt the words leave my mouth. That had not been some of my best work. I gave up altogether, feeling no obligation to him whatsoever, and continued with what I had been doing before I was so rudely interrupted. After a few moments passed and still Joey had not moved, I turned my head back to him to see just what it was that he was doing. He was watching me...waiting for to turn my head. Waiting for me to do what I had just done. Waiting for me to turn back to him and look. I immediately felt stupid and glared at him, hoping to scrape some of my dignity up off of the pavement between us.

"Alright then, I guess I'll just stand here too, then. I've got some homework to do, anyway." Joey, after having said this, proceeded to get comfortable on the lawn just a foot or so from where I stood.

I sighed in defeat, or perhaps frustration, and sat down beside him.

"Hey...I'm not gonna tell anyone about...you know." I looked over at Joey, who was currently refusing to make eye contact. My eyes narrowed in response and I laughed quietly.

"I know you won't. You had better not."

He glanced up and saw my face, looking surprised at my reaction.

"How do you know I won't? I was only trying to be nice, but if you're gonna be like that, then I might just have to tell everyone I know. Imagine that, the Great Seto Kaiba, crying like a little schoolgirl with a broken heart." Joey broadly grinned and I smirked back, not fully enjoying this sappy sort of shared moment, but not wanting to punch him out, either. What a strange feeling this was.

"You won't." I broke our gaze, and thought about what I truly wanted to say. He, too, felt the oncoming cloudiness and his eyes fell back to the sidewalk before us.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

I decided to charge in headfirst and storm the castle, so to speak. I would simply tell him how things were going to be. He didn't have much of a choice, honestly.

"Wheeler."

"...What?"

I took a deep breath and jumped.

"You've somehow managed to disrupt something in me and I'm not too happy with you right now. So, I suggest that you fix it. Now."

Joey never moved, nor showed any reaction upon hearing my words. He didn't even blink, and I continued watching him out of the corner of my eye.

"I don't know if I can. I never meant to upset you, or make you unhappy. I was aiming for the opposite, really..."

I spoke before I could think of what those words might mean.

"Your aim is not my concern. My only problem is you, and your ridiculous questions. Now fix it."

He stood up abruptly, and stared down at me in horror.

"Fix what? You? I can't fix you! You have to fix yourself! Look, I'm really sorry, okay? I never meant for anything like this to happen!"

I jumped up from where I sat and loomed down at him as ominously as I could. There weren't words for the amount of fury that I was witholding at that moment.

"You keep saying that, Wheeler, but you never say what it was that you were meaning to do. Just what were your intentions, exactly?"

Joey looked away from my heated glare and waved at me, as if trying to banish the sight. "Nothing. I wasn't trying to do anything, alright?"

I grabbed his hand and held him firmly where he stood, furious that he was being so casual about this. He was hiding something, I knew that much, but what could it be? I didn't even have the slightest clue what he might not want me to find out, but I was going to find out, whether he wanted me to or not.

"Nice try, Wheeler." I closed in on him and grabbed his other hand, holding him fast in place. Quickly I forced him towards me and our noses nearly met in the middle. Joey's eyes widened farther then I 'd ever seen before, and he struggled in my grasp. His efforts amounted to nothing, and I smiled at him as he vainly tried to escape. I wouldn't allow it.

"Now, what the hell are you after? You know as well as I do that you'll never escape, so I suggest that you start talking. What is it that you wanted?"

Joey stopped struggling for a moment, and he appeared to be running something through his head, weighing out his options. He of course had none, and I think he realized it just then, because he lowered his head to the ground in defeat and opened his mouth to speak. Something inaudible spilled from his hidden lips and I shook him roughly.

"What was that?"

"It was you..." Me? What about me? Was he trying to take me apart, piece by piece? Had I really forced him to hate me so? I was taken aback by this, but before I could react, he spoke again.

"I wanted you...to be happy. You always seem so sad and alone, and I just wanted to help. Not like the way I help everyone else, because I know that's what you're thinking. It isn't like that. I wanted to help you because...you're you. I...I like you."

His body had grown slack as he was confessing these things, and when I unintentionally released his arms he slumped down to the pavement below. I did it without thinking, and simply stood where I had been standing when he had spoken, unable to move from Zero.

* * *

AN: Ahhh...perhaps a happy ending will do me some good. Indulge a little. This is progressing past the point I had planned, and it's becoming a beast all it's own. But I do like where it's going. This is lots of fun to write, so many tense moments and underlying intentions... Hooray! My first cheesey romance! Maybe I'll give that lemon a shot. I'm feeling confident. What do you think? 


	3. Thoughts

Desideratum

A Seto Centric Thingy by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: I bring thee tidings of Seto! Uh-huh. This is doomed to long-ness. Why do I find myself unable to write a one shot? I always turn it into an intense novel sized thing. I am hopeless. But I will say that writing this story in particular has been the most fun I've had this year. No, really. I'm that sad. I love this story. I like Seto and his phobia of feelings. Do you think he's OCD? How hot would that be. Way too hot. Oh, yeah.

* * *

Joey, resting on his knees, refused to look up even as I began speaking. 

"What...what do you mean, you like me? What is that supposed to mean?" I was shocked. I had been expecting quite the opposite. Seto, I hate you. Seto, I can't stand you. Not Seto, I like you. What was happening?

"I don't know, okay? God, I knew you were gonna freak out like this. That's why I never said anything."

Never said anything? That must mean...

I looked down at him and spoke very quietly. I was supressing something, not knowing exactly what it was. It was a threatening emotion, and that was enough. I needed facts.

"How long?" I asked him simply, and my voice held nothing but the question. I sounded surprisingly calm in comparision to how I truly felt.

His only movement was to bring his head up and warily meet my eyes. He looked so lost and alone, and the pain in his expression shook something inside of me. It wasn't enough to topple the something over, but it did stir and awaken it, and in that moment I became aware that it existed inside of me. I knew how that felt. I felt the same exact way.

"Since...since I can remember. I'm sorry." His voice never faltered, although I knew that he was in an incredible amout of pain. It showed in his expression, but it was hidden underneath, and only because I felt it as well was I able to discern it through his features. He was surprisingly strong. My mind threw thoughts aimlessly back and forth, and the first one that I was able to make out in the tangle was the very last thing that Joey had said to me. He was sorry. I wondered why.

"What are you sorry for?" I couldn't ever imagine apologizing for something so infectious. It wasn't his fault that he possessed emotions, it wasn't my fault either. The difference between us was how we handled that inevitable curse. I could imagine being angry, or simply denying it altogether, but sorrow?

"I'm sorry because...I think that you'll hate me for this. And I'm sorry to bother you with it. I've already caused you enough trouble. And...I'm also sorry that I can't fix you. I can't even look at you right now, I'm sorry..." He stood up so quickly that he nearly fell over, but pulling himself upright rigidly he regained his balance and grabbed his school bag. After one last hollow look in my direction, he took off, probably going home to cry. It was none of my concern. I supposed that must be what one might do after being rejected...

Rejected? Was that what I had just done to him? I wasn't entirely sure as to what had just transpired here, and now that I was alone again, the silence swept in and swiftly unclouded my thoughts. I was able to think clearly, and I desperately did not want to. I wanted to cast this whole episode from my mind and never come back here again.

I wanted to go Home. So I ran after Joey Wheeler. I'm not exactly sure why it was that I reacted this way, but I'm sure that I will never know. I try to make a habit of thinking before I act, and this was not what I had done.

"Wait, Wheeler!" He didn't stop, nor did he look back. This only fueled my inner panic, and I sprinted in his direction. I would not be ignored. It took me less than a minute to close the distance that lay between Joey and I, and as soon as I was within reach of him I flung my hand forward and clung to his arm determinedly. He in turn pulled his arm away roughly and tried to extricate himself from my death grip, and failed miserably. The force of his retaliation, however, was just enough to lift me slightly and I lost my footing momentarily. In a blind tangle I felt myself fall to the ground in slow motion, but I was surprised when I did not feel the rough pavement against my skin. I felt another body, another boy...

Joey had fallen as well, and now we lay in a mess on the sidewalk, limbs hopelessly entangled and forgotten in the swiftness of the moment. It had happened so quickly.

"Ow..." Joey was the first to break the silence, and he tried to sit up, although he was still a bit dazed from the tumble. Being directly on top of him, however, caused me to slide to the ground as he sat up, and I made an annoyed sound at him.

"Oops. Sorry..." He grinned at me nervously and scratched his head absentmindedly, trying to regain his bearings. I stared at him from where I had fallen on my back, my face to the sky, and I turned my head in order to see him better. The sunlight came from behind Joey's head, making it's way towards the western sky in the late afternoon, and the red and yellow streams of light the filtered through his messy locks made him seem...shinier, for lack of a better description. He watched me as I watched him, and I think he began to grow uncomfortable, because he fidgeted with his bangs and looked away from me.

"What?" he asked me, almost silently. The question was loaded, fully loaded, and I could feel a weight on my chest as my answer drifted to him across the space between us.

"...Nothing." He seemed dissapointed at this, but he did not show it. How was it that I was able to see that, regardless of whether he showed me or not? When had I become so well versed in the secret language of Joey's inner workings? It was as though I had him memorized, and the feeling I got when I was able to correctly gauge his hidden feelings gave me a certain sense of...something unidentified. Something awful, I just knew it. Something I wasn't ready to acknowledge within me, and I promptly did not. Pushing the growing suspicion away, I watched him with a cautios eye.

Joey stood and caught his balance, offering me a hand to pull myself up with. I stared at it for a moment before giving him a look of dissatisfaction and pulled myself up on my own. Both of us now stood, waiting for the other say something, anything that might give the other a clue as to what was the right thing to say next. I watched Joey from the corner of my eye and saw that he was struggling with something in his mind. It seemed as though he wanted to say something, but was having doubts as to whether it was the right thing to do.

"Wheeler, just spit it out." I was losing patience fast with each passing moment. All of the aimless wandering of the day had worn me out further than I had realized. It wasn't until we had fallen to the pavement that I felt the true soreness of my overworked muscles.

"Are you..." Joey spoke in a tone that was completely colorless, and conveyed nothing but the tenatively placed words that he spoke. "Are you...upset with me?"

I didn't even have to think before I answered his question.

"Of course I am." I didn't speak angrily, but the words were swift and executed firmly, leaving no room for question. This concept was beyond Joey's nearly nonexistant level of comprehension, evidently, because he shot me a horrified face that made me feel as though I had said the wrong thing. Which I knew was absolutely out of the question, because I had spoken the truth.

"What do you mean?" He tone was shrill and conveyed his panic and sense of justified disconnection to the situation. I had really explained this all before.

"It's really quite simple, puppy. I told you before, but I suppose that I'll have to tell you once more. You decided that it was a good idea to meddle in affairs wich do not involve you. Because of your inability to keep to youself, I have somehow ended up here," I waved my arms wide in a show of disgust for my current surroundings,"in this travesty of a living environment. Mind your own damn business next time, and quit tampering with mine. As you can see, your influence is not what I need right now."

I watched his face transform as I spoke, and as the words were falling from my lips there began to grow within me a very strange something unwanted. An emotion, a reaction rather, to the way that my words affected Joey. I never stopped, although I almost hesitated for a moment, and I immediately cursed the mishap and pushed it away. What was his problem? It was as though the things that I said to him were so important that he would carry them around forever, as if anything I had to say truly mattered to him. It shouldn't. Nothing he said to me ever mattered, I never gave the slightest thought to a word anyone said, whether near me or directly to my face. That would be a foolish mistake, to be so easily swayed by the opinions and emotions of another.

"Mutt. Why are you so upset about this? Why do care so much about what others say about you? It's foolish, to act this way."

He looked as though his tears would fall any moment now. Oh, god, now what? If he really did start crying, I would have no choice but to laugh in his face. What a weak fool.

"No, it's not foolish. You...you are foolish. I told you that I liked you, and you have the nerve to tell me that I shouldn't care about what you tell me? I _don't_ care about what others say about me, but I do care about what you say. Why don't you get it?" He put a hand on his hip and stood rudely, waving his other hand around in a display of exasperation. "Do you even understand what I meant when I said that? You don't even know what it means, or how I feel. You don't understand what it is to like. To favor someone, to care about another person. I care about you, and what you have to say is a reflection of what you have inside of you. Of course I will listen. Even if all you have to say is a load of shit about me, and how inconvenient my feelings are for you. I know that's what you want to say-"

"How the hell would you know?" I spoke out of line, and felt the regret of it instantly.

"I don't know. I wish that I did, but maybe wishing's my problem. Too bad for me, huh?"

I looked at him, not caring about the look on my face for once, which I knew from the odd feel of it that it must be streaked with emotion. Which emotion, I could not say, and even now the feel of it is alien and uncomfortable, and I avoid it as often as I can. But it came upon me without warning, and was triggered by something inside of me. I felt an echoing similarity underneath my face that was equally unfamiliar, and just as uninvited. My face betrayed my emotions. And I couldn't help it nor hinder it in the least. The familiar feel of clenched muscles tightened in a comfortably cool and closed expression was missing, and my features sold me out after all.

I felt this betrayal and I could not fight the uprising nor the coming tide, so I turned from him and abandoned Zero at long last. I walked away, and headed home. Well, not home, but I wanted to go someplace safe and familiar, and leave this warm and grateful place that was so damned sunny and welcoming. This place that Joey lived in was filled with him, because he was there. His bright disposition was contagious, like a deadly plague sweeping the nation, and now every inch of familiar territory I went to was now under the sun and happy to see me. It was a nightmare. Even I was beginning to fall victim, I realized as I thought back to all of those questions that I had answered truthfully. I had given him pieces of my mind, real shards of it that were meaningful and important. Why had he taken them, and taken them directly to his heart? What could I do to make him see that he was mistaken, that he was no longer safe?

As I fell back into the painfully familiar pattern of walking once more, I felt my mind beginning to ramble aimlessly, and I meant to take control of it and end the nonsense buzzing shamelessly in my skull, but a pang of curiosity stopped me, for just a moment. Just thinking about it can't hurt, can it? No one knows, and I'll never tell anyone these things. Just thoughts are harmless. I scoffed at my mind, if such a thing is possible, but I did nothing else to contain it. I feigned disinterest, and secretly listened in.

Joey said that he...liked me. How plain. No, not plain. How...vague. I wasn't even sure if he and I were on the same page with that subject. So he liked me, lots of people seemed to. Lots of people liked him, as well. But what sort of like did he mean when he spoke of me? 'Like' is such a useless and incompetent word. I had assumed that when he used it in refrence to me, he meant that he...and here I blanked. What had I thought, exactly? I had reprimanded him for apologizing, but other than that my mind had made sure to steer clear of the topic altogether. But judging on the way that he spoke and acted when he told me, and combining that with the nearly uncomfortable amount of attention he had devoted to me over the last few weeks, I began to see both Joey and his situation in a new light.

It was becoming clear. Joey had a...a fondness for me. I suppose it's been termed as a crush. A crush. On me.

Oh. Well, that was unexpected. Even by me, and I had previously thought that I had Joey all figured out. Clearly I had been mistaken. And he said that it wasn't new, what had he said to me? The events of minutes ago had already begun to blur in my memory.

'Since...since I can remember. I'm sorry...' Yes, that was it. I remembered that he was sorry.

We had been aware of the existance of one another since long before Duelist Kingdom. That, I thought in awe, is quite a long while. A long while for someone to have to hide a feeling such as this one. I had heard of this feeling before, and the wide spread rumors were most unsettling. This 'like' affliction will, without fail, eventually lead into love. And Love, I knew for a fact, was a flame that I did not want to play with. I was surprised that Joey himself was not aware of this fact. Surely he knew that if he let his feelings run rampant and unleashed that he would cause himself more trouble than even I could pull him out of. And I had pulled that boy out of a hell of a lot of trouble. He wasn't so careless as to run into something like this headfirst, was he?

My mind answered itself with a resounding affirmation. Yes, Joey_ was _that careless. That was how Joey operated, on all existing levels. Headfirst was his only option, and he strongly believed in the intensity of...feelings...or something. Something to that effect. Still, for someone as passionate and headstrong as Joey to keep silent about something I'm only too positive was very dear to him showed a great deal of strength and maturity on his part.

Too bad he lost control in the end. He always does, I thought with a smirk. That fool caved, just as he always does. He's so...so...well, he's interesting, all right. I wondered what it was that had made him crumble in the end. I supposed that a burden of those magnifications would be tiring, even to someone like me.

Me. There was a place for me in this terrible mess of feelings as well, although just the mere thought of it made me cringe. I factored into this tangle somewhere. I wasn't the cause of it, not intentionally, but I was involved, no matter how deeply I longed to be immune to dangerous games such as these. I wondered if there was any way to slip out unscathed. Probably not. Did I even care?

"Yes, I do." My thoughts escaped from their hiding place for a moment and made themselves known to me in the real world. I had to care. I was involved. But to what extent? I knew that first and foremost, I cared about whether I was going to have to care for very much longer. The entire ordeal was becoming extremely unsatisfying, especially now that I found myself reacting to it in such an extreme manner. More than once I had lost my temper, and numerous times I found myself speaking to Joey when I knew for a fact that the most logical thing to do would be to keep silent. This was highly illogical. This was a real pain in the ass.

Why was I still thinking about Joey Wheeler? I glanced upward at the solemn iron gates that surrounded my house and sighed inwardly. This whole thinking activity was very non productive. I had been thinking for the last hour, and not only had I gotten absolutely nowhere in making sense of the strange way that I was reacting to this newfound wealth of information, but I found myself unable to think of anything other than my last encounter with Joey. I slipped through the gates and made my way to the front door, wondering what it was that I needed to be doing besides this...thinking nonsense. Nothing came. Nothing, save for that very last few words that Joey had spoken before I had left. Before I had walked away from him. I hadn't even turned back to see if he had watched me go. I hadn't cared, at the moment. But I wondered about it now.

And I wondered why it was that I was wondering about him, of all the people in the world to wonder about. I was still wondering about Joey Wheeler, and the things that he felt. Wondering if I cared at all, in the vain hope of denying it for good.

* * *

AN: How fun. This is fun, this Seto thing. He simply does not understand, does he? What a weirdo. I like him, but I also really like Joey. They're so perfect for each other, aren't they? I wonder how long it'll be before Seto even realizes that Joey is expecting an answer from him. He's so lost! Ahhh... Deep thoughts are good. This chapter was filled with them. I want to see more action! But it's not time yet. I desperately want this to somewhat resemble reality, and Seto really needs time. He's not ready. Don't worry, they will kiss! I demand that they kiss, at the very least! And I'm the writer, so they'll just have to suck it up and live with it, won't they? I hope that they're in character. Your thoughts on the way that I have tried to keep them both in character would be most appreciated. Tell me what you think, and if you think that it's moving too fast. Reality is key. Thanks for reading! 


	4. Like

Desiradatum

A Seto Centric Thingy by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: I wonder if these authors notes are too long. I wonder a great many things, all in vain. But I wonder the most about this story, and why it seens to fly from my fingers at such an exhausting pace. I have found something precious in this story, something I have been looking for. How strange. I am beginning to write like Seto, even in these authors notes, and it's weirding me out. All my sentences have have shortened dramatically, and I'm so blunt. So 'To The Point'! I will write now, and spare you all the gory details. Hey, there's no blood in this fic, which might be a first for me. I can't remember. Does that seem strange? Do I make sense? Oh, god...

* * *

Something had escaped my grasp in the turbulence of the day. As I lay awake on my bed that night, exausted to the point of madness yet still wakeful, I thought of a thing that I should have thought of long ago. 

Wasn't Joey a boy?

Of course he was. What a wasteful thought. But that thought led to others, much more involving and informative thoughts.

I was a boy, as well. This was a fun twist. Joey was a homo. Why hadn't I discovered this earlier? It had only been directly shoved in my face that very day, and still it was hours before I had even come so far as to acknowledge the fact. I supposed that I had been so wrapped up in the shock of the entire situation that I hadn't had time to break it all down and cast my judgement upon it, piece by piece.

It was so off the wall, something that I wouldn't have guessed at, not in a million years. Joey Wheeler? Not possible. But clearly it was possible, because it was a reality. This was a situation that I had never been close enough to touch, let alone become involved in, so at first I was unsure of how to approach it. After a few moments of consideration, I decided that it didn't matter. What business was it of mine? Gay or not, he was still a terrible duelist.

I smirked as I thought of his little team of cheerleaders, and how they might react to the news.I was sure that they had no idea. His attitude towards women had always been slightly misplaced, even to my uncaring eyes. He was always talking, always flirting, yet when faced with the opportunity he would promptly turn and run as fast as he could in the other direction. What a front it had all been. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I should have been able to spot it a mile away. Those pathetic friends of his were either in a serious case of denial, or they were...in a serious case of denial.

Would he tell them? I thought not. But what would he do later on, when he eventually fell in love with someone? Would they see it then, or would he hide it as he always had? What if I'd told him I liked him back? That thought struck a small chord inside of me, but I ignored it until it subsided.

I did not like him back. What a ridiculous concept. I didn't like anyone back. There wasn't enough time for such trivial matters.

'There had been time today', my mind whispered back. Well, yes, but that was a fluke. A mistake.

Why hadn't I given him an answer? Was that what he had been after? There was no point in telling someone you liked them if you didn't expect anything in return. Why say anything at all?

What was with all of these questions my mind relentlessly flung across the expanse of my overworked subconsious? It was as though my mind was driving on, endlessly looping the tired subject back into rotation, even when I thought that I had covered all that I could about the situation. There was nothing more that I could do. Except tell him that I didn't like him in return. It would have to be done, and soon. Otherwise, he might begin to think that I was considering the notion as a viable option. Which simply wasn't going to happen. I resolved that I would tell him the very next day, and be done with the matter entirely. No more deep thinking. No more questions. Just the simple facts, and nothing more. I couldn't afford to become so entangled in someone else's problems like this. I had wasted an entire day, and I was determined not waste another second.

"Wheeler. We're talking now." I pointed to him as he exited the classroom at the end of the day. I had been the first to leave, anxious to have this mess over and dealt with, and I had waited for what seemed like forever as Joey woke up at the sound of the bell and then proceeded to take as long as humanly possible to collect all of his miserable things and head out the door. He both heard and saw me, I knew for sure, but he certainly didn't rise to the occasion. It seemed as if he could sense the impending encounter and all of it's connotations, because he pretended as though he hadn't heard me and continued walking absentmindedly down the hallway. What a brat.

I sidestepped swiftly and blocked his path.

"Wheeler. Now." I grabbed his shirtsleeve and dragged him back into the classroom, which had emptied and was now silent, save for the two of us. I let him go and stared warily, watching to see if he would try and run. He was silent and forlorn, gazing at the back of his hand in wonder. He wouldn't meet my eyes. It was just as well.

"So, the great Joey Wheeler has nothing to say to me? And here I thought I'd never get you to shut up."

He never even flinched at the taunts. I didn't understand what was wrong with him, and for some reason I felt that he needed to acknowledge the fact that I was there. There's nothing I hate more than being ignored. Especially since I was the one doing him a favor.

"Well, puppy, of all the things that I might have guessed about you, it would never have been this. I had no idea you were so...inclined. I must say, I'm flattered, but I don't think I'll be able to take you up on your offer. You understand."

For the first time, he looked up and caught my eye, and the feelings that swam underneath the surface of his skin forewarned me only seconds too late.

"What 'offer'?" He was seething. I had apparently struck an awful nerve. Now I was beyond confused.

"You...yesterday. When you told me that you liked me. Didn't you want to know if I like you back?" Wasn't that the only reason to tell someone a thing like that? I hoped that I hadn't grossly misjudged him. According to the look I was recieving, it looked as though I had.

"Did I ask you if you liked me back?" His words were forced and unkind. It seemed like he was holding back for my sake. Was I doing something wrong? There was no way for me to know if I was, and I assumed that he knew that, because he had no other reason to spare me his rage.

"Well, no... but what other reason would you have to tell me such a thing? What would be in it for you to simply tell me that you liked me and you expected nothing in return? That wouldn't make any sense."

"And why is that?" He seemed to be honestly interested in my answer, which I was having a hard time formulating. This was falling apart, and fast. Of all the possible scenarios I had pictured, this particular one had never come up. How bad was I at this?

"Because no one does anything for anyone without expecting something in return. That is just the way people are." I had never said it out loud before, but as soon as I heard it, I knew that I believed it.

He held me in a harsh and judging gaze for a few moments. He was searching my face for any signs of sarcasm. I knew there were none, and he saw that.

"Well, Kaiba, I guess that makes me no one. I don't expect a thing from you in return. How shallow would my love be if it was shattered the moment that it wasn't returned? Do you think that-" He stopped speaking suddenly as the look on my face registered in his mind. His hand jumped to his mouth and tensely covered his lips, but it was too late. He had said far too much, and I had heard it. He hadn't meant for me to know that.

He loved me.

This was no ordinary _like_. This had evolved, had grown over time. This was bigger than the two of us. This was trouble, and I didn't know what to do at that moment.

"Oh, God...I'm so sorry. I'm terrible at this..." He stumbled over his words, still frozen in the shock of what he had just betrayed. I was still staring at him, exactly what I had been the moment he spilled forth the Truth of the matter. I hadn't thought to move yet. I was far to busy trying to digest that information, and failing miserably. This was too...involving. I wanted no part in this. I would take control of this situation, and I would end it here and now. Gather it all together, and push it down deep. Deep inside, and never speak of it again.

"You don't love me." I stated it simply, and so well that even I nearly believed it. He watched me, disbelief washing over his features as he waited for me to speak again.

"You have no idea who I am. How can you possibly believe this nonsense? What a waste of time, falling in love with a person who would never love you back. How can you reduce yourself to this level? Clearly, you were not thinking when you decided to go through with this, but it's time to start living in reality. You don't know a thing about me, so what is it exactly that you love about me? I'd _love_ to hear it."

It was over so quickly that I didn't know it had happened until I felt my hand reach up to my burning cheek of it's own accord. I turned my head back to face him, and he lowered his hand and glared at me with tears in his eyes. I had been slapped.

"You bastard. How dare you...you have no right..." He turned away so quickly that I nearly missed the first tear that fell silently from his eye. Nearly. He walked to the exit of the classroom and stopped in the doorway, as if thinking twice about leaving so soon. After a moment's hesitation, he turned his head back to look at me, not even bothering to fully turn his body. He would leave in moments.

"Trust me on this one - I never _decided _to fall in love with you. Who would?"

He was gone. I laughed quietly to myself at the last thing he said. He had a point.

What is it all for?

Is it for moments like this, when I truly feel alive? I had never felt so stunningly real or so hopelessly lost before in my life. It was like first blood. I had never been cut before, and now that I had it brought me to a new and more believable level of reality, a place that had more color, more intensity, and endless pitfalls hidden underfoot. I felt a strange thing that I could not place, but it felt extremely similar to Regret. A form of Regret that was mixed sharply with appreciation. I appreciated this feeling. It was new and it was liberating, as if I had never taken a breath before today.

The things that I had said to Joey were wrong. They were unthinkable, and offensive even. I hadn't been aware until just now. In that moment when I stood silent and solemn in the hollow classroom, biting my cheek which still stung with the force of the blow, I saw what had truly transpired here. I hadn't even taken my palm away from my face, and I stood there motionless as thought any movement at all might shatter the surrealism of the moment.

This had not gone well. Still, I felt changed, somehow. Changed again by Joey Wheeler. What was it that he possessed? What was it that made him so different, so influential in my eyes? I had no idea where to even begin thinking about this. I had thought enough for the both of us over the last twenty four hours. I decided to call it a day, and retired into the sullen and shadowed atmosphere of my own house. I couldn't help but wonder, however, what it was that Joey might do next. I was convinced that I would never be able to guess. Not anymore. But perhaps even then I didn't want to know. I wanted to experience it, to be there when he did whatever it was that he would do. He fascinated me. He was unpredictable, and I found myself craving more of it, whatever it was.

* * *

AN: Oh, boy. I had no idea that would happen. I thought that Joey would approach Seto, but no. Seto had to try and command the situation to his liking. Everything always backfires on poor Seto. This chapter is kind of short, in comparison to the other chapters, but the next one will probably be pretty long. Anyway, this was a good ending note. Seto really needs to think about all this. If you do review, let me know if this seems realistic enough for a Seto Joey fic. I will not sacrifice the realism for anything. Ah! Thank you all for your kind comments, the Sun Himself in comparison to you is dull and pale. You bring me a certain sort of happiness that cannot be matched by any other. Can you hear me trying to woo you all? Marry me. 


	5. Kiss

Desiradatum

A Seto Centric Thingy by Katsuya Kaiba

AN: OK, I am so freakin flattered right now. I was reading this awesomely awesome story called Forbidden Fruit, and it was so hot that I had to leave a review for it. Check this out- the author mentioned me in the authors notes on the last update of the sequel. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OK, readers, it's constructive criticism time! If you get a chance, please leave me your thoughts on how I can make this fic better.If you don't want to leave a review, e-mail me You guys rock!

* * *

Beginning on the very next day and continuing for the next couple of weeks, all of Joey's questioning came to a swift and startling end. 

This was by no means unexpected, but it was just a little bit disappointing. It was as though the situation had escalated to the point of madness, and then just as quickly as it had come it had suddenly dissapated into thin air like a clearing mist thinning far too fast to be natural, leaving me standing alone in the resounding silence of afterwards. There had been no climax, no resolution, and all of the exchanges between Joey and I felt uncomfortably unfinished. Each time Joey and I saw each other, whether in the hallway, during class or otherwise, no words were given up and he stubbornly refused to look me in the eyes, sometimes going out of his way in order to avoid acknowledging my existence. Whenever I noticed that he was near, I would pointedly gaze directly at him with an expression on my face that was purely intrigued, hoping to incite his curiosity. Evidently there wasn't any to incite, because the one and only time I had been able to catch his attention, he simply gave me the most blank and uninterested face that I had ever seen on a person.

He was beginning to infuriate me. I would not be ignored. Or at least, I hadn't been, until now. And I was letting it slip through my fingers. I was not taking action, not attempting to correct Joey or the situation. I let it lie. I think that somewhere inside of me whispered that this was certainly not the end of things between Joey and I. I merely had to sit back and enjoy the action as it unfolded. And that was precisely what I did. After about a week of this treatment, I stopped all attempts at contacting Joey altogether, and I tried to reform my life to fit the way it had been before he had come along and torn the memorized paths to shreds. I thought about nothing but what needed to be done, and pushed the rest of it away. I did not care what it might be that I wanted, more than anything else. I had everything. I wanted for nothing at all. I was satisfied, and Joey Wheeler could go to hell.

Then, finally, something happened. I refused to believe that I had been waiting for this, but I was relieved when the stale ice that had formed over our relationship was shattered, although the feeling of relief was flavored slightly with the bitter tang of resentment. How dare he allow this to continue for so long. It had taken nearly all of my resolution and willpower just to keep from caring about the idiotic situation, and here I had nearly convinced myself that I truly did not care in the least. Just when things were starting to fall back into their assigned places and roles, along came Joey with another catastrophe. It had only been a waiting game after all. Well...it would have been, had I been playing, which I had resolved that I wasn't. Not intentionally.

The classroom was silent, all of the students in it seated and working quietly. All of them concentrating, except for me. I had already finished the assignment days ago, and I found myself forced to pass the time pretending to study the inconsequential nonsense this institution continually shoved down my throat. Glancing up to watch the time, I caught Joey staring at me with a very interesting look on his face. He seemed to be considering something, but what it was I could not say. When our eyes met, his expression turned sour and he scowled at nothing before turning his attention downward to his desktop. I wondered what I had done.

When Joey looked back up at me, I realized that I had not averted my eyes since he had last seen me, and I knew immediately that it would look as though I had been staring at him. I hadn't been, not really, but the expression that I knew I wore must have given me away, and I closed my mouth and stared back at him, challenging him to do something about it. He didn't scare me.

What he did next will forever be engrained in the fabric of my mind. It was sudden, unexpected, and altogether completely uncharacteristic of Joey, or at least, it was in accordance with the Joey in my mind. His embittered expression faded as the darkness would into the sunlight, and a brightly beaming smile came out from the shadows and cascaded over his features. It was truly a thing to behold, and it seemed so genuine, although everything inside of me screamed that this was meant to be sarcastic. I was sure that it was, but as it was happening the effect it was meant to have on me did indeed take hold, and I froze where I was and artlessly stared. I could see it in his eyes that he knew I would watch him for at least a few moments more, and he snatched the opportunity and stole those extra seconds to create something that caused a good deal of unrest within me for a very long while.

That bastard winked at me, grinning as though he knew something that I had foolishly missed.

My mouth, which I had thought was set firmly in place, fell open unrestrained and I blinked twice, hoping that when I regained my focus I would see that my eyes had decieved me. They had not. I sat up straight in my chair and looked first to the right and then quickly to the left, wishing with all of my will that no one else had seen him do that. That was the very last thing I needed at that point. They had not, for once they were actually determined to cram what little information they could into their feeble brains, unaware that anything out of the ordinary was happening beside them. I slumped back down in my chair and raised my line of sight to the ceiling, silently praying to no one for nothing in particular. Perhaps for some perspective. What in the world was he thinking? What had he hoped to accomplish by that?

I could feel my eyebrows furrow as a thought settled in the center of my mind. Joey was up to something, and as much as I hated to say it I knew that it wasn't merely flirting. He was attacking me in some way, that had to be what he was up to. But for what purpose? What was he after? I thought lightly on revenge, but dismissed the idea as soon as it came. Joey didn't exact revenge on anyone. He was a complete martyr, painfully so and besides, I hadn't done anything to him personally, not in awhile. He had nothing against me, save the evident heartbreak I had unwittingly caused him. But that was unrelated, and this seemed to be an isolated incident.

I was beginning to feel frustrated, and still there was nothing. _Was_ he...flirting? 'Ridiculous' I thought to myself. Completely out of the question. He knew better than that.

I tore a page out of my notebook and began furiously scribbling a note. This was becoming far too childish for my tastes, and I wasn't willing to wait until the end of the class to sort this all out.

* * *

Mutt- 

You had better have a damn good reason for doing that.

Explain yourself.

* * *

I took the page into my hands and crumpled it up into a wrinkled sphere, smiled as I took aim, and tossed the note at Joey's head. He had turned his attention to the promise of freedom that lay beyond the classroom window, and when the piece of paper tagged him in the ear, he jumped in his seat and threw his hands up, attracting the attention of a few surrounding classmates, who only glanced up for a second and then went back to their business once they realized the noise had come from Joey. The paper ball had bounced off the side of his head and landed on the desktop before him, and he noticed it lying there almost instantly. Taking it into his fist and unraveling the wadded note underneath his desk so as not to make too much noise, he placed it on the desktop and read it slowly. I watched him carefully as he read and then re-read the words I had written before picking up his own pen and jotting down a few sloppily crafted lines. He never once glanced over in my direction, nor showed a single reaction to what I had written. He was keeping himself purposely blank, no doubt feeling my hardened gaze fixated upon his demeanor. I was nearing anger, and he knew it. 

The paper came back to me at last, sailing over a few unsuspecting heads before landing in my outstretched hand, waiting for the reply. Not caring whether or not I made any noise, I smoothed out the deepening crinkles in the page and read Joey's response.

* * *

Moneybags- 

Chill out. I just wanted to see if you were still mad at me.

* * *

Mad? Why would I be mad? He was the one who was angry, or so I had thought. What would it matter, even if I was upset? I cringed at the thought of what it was that he might be up to that would involve me not being upset with him. He was seeking information, and I wouldn't allow it. I took my pen in my hand and continued our written conversation.

* * *

Maybe I am. Why do you need to know?

* * *

I caught his attention and threw the note across the room. He caught it this time, and opened it quickly, reading the contents and hastily writing a response. As he wrote down his thoughts, I looked up to the front of the classroom and watched the teacher for a moment. She was absentmindedly reading a novel, and paid little mind to the empty silence before her. I looked back to Joey who was waiting for me to signal the correct moment to make the exchange. I gave a small nod and reached out, curling my fingers around the paper as it hit my palm.

* * *

No reason. Just curious.

* * *

Of all the obscurely lame things to say... How much more vague could he have been? I wasn't satisfied at all with this answer, and I responded quickly, throwing the note back to him with a bit more force than was necessary. He nearly missed catching it this time and had to stretch back in his chair a little ways in order to grasp it. In doing so, his desk slid backwards a few inches and scraped across the floor, making a harsh scratching noise that was impossible to miss in the stifiling silence that surrounded us. Both of us simultaneously looked up to where the teacher sat, but she only glanced up from her book momentarily and found the entire class, including Joey and I, heavily focused on our work. She went back to her reading, and as soon as we were in the clear Joey took the note out from under his arm and opened it. He read what I had written and sat silent for a few seconds, seemingly mulling it over in his head.

* * *

That's a load of bullshit. What are you after? Why should it matter to you of I'm angry or not?

* * *

It took him much longer to respond this time, and a full two minutes passed as I impatiently watched him writing his answer down on the paper. Finally, he crumpled up the note and tossed it back to me, after double checking to be sure it was safe.

* * *

It just does. I know you don't care about stuff like that, so just never mind why. I'm not doing it to mess with you, cause I know that's what you're thinking. Forget I ever did anything, OK?

* * *

I scoffed menacingly at the piece of paper in my grasp. No, I was not going to just forget everything. I needed to know about this if it involved me, and this most certainly did involve me, in a very influential way. Especially if he was still...in love with me. I highly doubted it, but I couldn't be sure. And honestly, deep inside of me there was a voice that was interested to know if he did still love me after all that had happened when I found out. How reckless was he willing to be in order to preserve these painful and unrelenting emotions? My next entry was blunt and to the point. Hopefully it would trigger a more meaningful response from Joey. I had to drag this out of him, and pissing him off seemed to be the most effective way to accomplish said task.

* * *

You don't love me anymore.

* * *

That should do it. Perhaps it was uncalled for, but it would serve my purposes greatly. Now for the reaction... 

I waved at him and passed the paper through the air, and he caught it easily. I stared as closely as I could into his eyes, which were not as visible as they could have been, but I angled my head and waited as he pulled the paper out of it's wadded form and read what I had written. There was nothing on his face at first, but after he finished reading I thought that I saw something, but it was gone before I could identify it without question. It had been small, the start of something which might have grown very large, but was stifled before it could take root and flourish on his features. It had been a fleeting moment of a certain sort of sadness, and I almost felt sorry for what I had done, although my mind told me that I had done it to see precisely what it was that I had seen and now nearly regretted. This was business, and I had to treat it as such. I couldn't afford to get emotionally involved as I had almost done before, when Joey had begun asking me those trifiling and jilted questions. Strange, how I almost missed them now. But to miss them would cause problems, so I avoided the thought and waited for him to respond.

He set the note down on his desk and stared at it for a few minutes, and then turned his head away from me and watched the world outside the window, evidently having forgotten about the note entirely. Would he have anything to say to that? I had guessed that he might write me a short novel in response to what I had said, but he wrote nothing, did nothing, just stared out of the classroom, probably wishing me away at that very moment. I had half a mind to throw something at him to bring him back into the conversation, but after considering the option I decided against it. I didn't want him to get the impression that I wanted to know the answer. Regardless of whether I actually wanted to know or not was irrelevant. Appearances are everything.

I looked up to the clock on the wall. We only had ten minutes of class left, and it looked as though he would spend the time staring off into the distance, ignoring me completely. I turned away from him and resolved to not involve myself in the situation any longer. If he answered me, fine, if not, fine. I didn't care either way. So caught up was I in my thoughts that I failed to notice the note that came flying across the classroom, landing on my desk and bouncing once or twice before falling off entirely. I saw it as it landed and caught it in midair just before it reached the ground, and I quickly opened it and read what Joey had to say about the line I had sent him. My tactics had proven effective, this response was almost dripping with heartfelt emotion. I lifted my lip in a sneer as I read the letters on the page, but I did not laugh or scoff aloud. I didn't want to complicate matters further, and if heard me laughing at him in any way I was sure that it would set off an awful chain of destruction that I did not want to be the cause of.

* * *

That isn't true at all. Maybe you don't know what it is to be in love, and that's why you don't understand why I do certain things. Love, real Love, isn't something you can just decide is a bad idea. It doesn't matter if the other person returns the feelings or not. It's uncontrollable, and I can't do a thing about it. Maybe in time it will get better. That's all I can do. You can do the most awful things you can think of to me, and I won't love you any less. I'll still be pissed at you, so don't go getting any ideas, but you can't scare it away. And you can't tell me not to feel things. So just get used to it.

* * *

Hmm. How touching. I nearly felt sorry for him. Now I knew that he wouldn't even try to do anything to stop this. He had no will left in him, it had all been eaten away by these weakening emotions. They were crippling him, and now he had resigned himself to this pathetic fate. Well, if he wouldn't even help himself, there was no way that I would do anything to stop him. Let him love me, the dumb bastard. He could dig his own grave without my consent, so what was the point? I wrote down my response and sent the note back to him through the air above. 

Upon receiving the note, he glanced up at the clock, and I followed his eyes and checked the time myself. The bell would sound in less than thirty seconds. Just enough time for him to read what I had written. He was going to flip his lid, I knew that, but I would have my escape. Everything in it's place, and timed to perfection. If this was a game, I would have most certainly won.

* * *

Poor lovesick puppy. Dig your own grave if you want, but don't expect me to lie in it with you.

* * *

The last bell rang, and the schoolday was over. But the trouble with Joey was just beginning. As the words sunk in to his mind, he at first looked sick with sadness, and then quickly it advanced into a blind rage. A single second after the bell went off, he stood up from his desk in a huff and flung the paper ball at me. It bounced off of my desk and fell to the ground, rolling until it stopped just inches from my feet. 

"You asshole!" He screamed and pointed in my direction. The surrounding students, who had been anxiously packing up their things in the hopes of leaving for home, stopped at this new accusation and avidly watched the scene. Joey neither noticed nor cared about who was there or not, and stood rigidly still, fuming visibly and sending out anger in waves which nearly caused me to take a step backwards. I had stood from my own seat at the same moment as he, but instead of gathering all of my things as the others had, I stood still and watched Joey as he unleashed his anger. The students who had stopped to watch quickly finished collecting their things and all but ran out of the classroom, leaving Joey and I nearly alone, save the teacher and a few of those faceless whiners that were always clinging to him at every conceivable moment.

"Joey Wheeler, out! And you too, Seto Kaiba! If you both want a fight, it'll have to be outside." The teacher had heard Joey's outburst, as had most of the people within a five mile radius, and appeared to be displeased with the both of us.

"Come on, Joey, he's not worth it." One of the mindless followers spoke to Joey in hushed tones while pulling at his uniform sleeve, trying to physically drag him outside the classroom. Stupid kid, he needed to stay out of this. This was between Joey and I. I pushed past all of them roughly and made my way to the exit.

"Yes, Joey, listen to your little friends. I'm not worth it. You and I both know that, so perhaps it's time to give up your hopeless dreaming and get on with life." Turning on my heel with the very last words of the sentence, I expertly strode out of the classroom with a haughty air that desperately begged for him to follow. This was not finished, not by a longshot.

After I was a few feet away from the door, I slowed my pace down and casually walked down the hallway. He would come out of that classroom and give me what for in about five seconds from right now. Five, four, three, two,

"This ain't finished yet, Kaiba!"

One.

The smile on my face spoke of nothing except for pure and untarnished satisfaction. Everything fell into it's place. But when had I become so interested in inciting Joey's rage? There was just something that was sickly sweet in my ability to make him feel like no one else could make him feel. No one could take my place. I was special somehow, and the thought gave me a rush of something that tasted quite nice. I turned to face the onslaught directly. This I had to see.

"Is that so? Tell me puppy, what is it that you need me to finish?"

Joey walked at me so quickly that it looked as though we would collide if he didn't slow down soon. He came to a intransigent halt a few inches just before it would be too late, and the breadth of space between the two of us was slight at best. His eyes were narrowed and he looked to be more upset than angry. Served me right, if it mattered at all, which it didn't.

"Do you honestly think that you can treat me this way and I won't do anything back to you?" His voice was hushed, a strained whisper that only I could hear. I looked past him for a moment and caught the sight of a few pairs of worried eyes, watching me to see if I would retaliate. His friends were watching, and it hit me just then that they still did not know about their friend and his love for another. He was whispering because they were watching him, and he did not want to tell them what we were arguing about. I looked away from them and back to Joey, who was searching my face as if looking for something that might be tucked away underneath.

"Careful. Your friends are watching you." I spoke just as silently as he, and my voice was not angry or threatening. It was filled with something not so far from concern, and as I listened to myself speak I felt very strange about the tone I held. That wasn't how that was meant to sound at all. Joey heard what I said, and I think that he understood what I meant, because he backed away a good few inches and collected himself. But as he thought about the situation, his face took on a sudden change, one that looked like desperation mixed with equal portions of fear and insanity. He looked at me undeviatingly, and in the very next second I felt a premonition sinking inside of me, and my eyes grew wide with shock. I knew how this would end, and it would be in tragedy. In my eyes, at least. But for all the knowledge in the world, I simply could not move my feet from where they were planted, and I firmly stood my ground and accepted the inevitable. I didn't want this, but I didn't quite hate it, either. I was alright with it, for the moment.

"I don't care anymore." He spoke firmly and with a highly justified sense of pride, and at that moment he had never looked as shining or so true to himself ever before, and the sight was almost awesome in my eyes. I head his feet as they shuffled forward and intermixed with my own, and I felt his sneakers scrape ever so gently across the side of one of my boots in his effort to close all distance between us. He went for it, wholly and without shame or regret, and I couldn't deny him what he took from me.

Joey Wheeler kissed me in the hallway of the school. The walkways were packed with kids tiredly making their way out of the building, and one by one they all stopped to stare at the unimaginable, the unthinkable, which had just occured. I'm sure his little academy of friendship supporters were still watching to be sure that their partner in crime would be alright. They would see it all, and Joey didn't care. I had to hand it to him, he surely didn't belong with those empty headed fools, swaying this way and that whenever the breeze of the majority swept through. No, Joey was independant, he did what he pleased and what he wanted he sought, and I rather liked that about him. He was strikingly similar to myself, in some ways. I heard a few whispering voices and some scattered whistles, and from far off I heard someone catcalling at the open display. But all of these things I noticed in a strange way, in a way that did not matter in the least to me until much later when I thought about it clearly. I was simply not paying attention.

The look on my face as he closed the distance must have been ridden with an unimaginable horror, yet he continued on, and without hesitation he pressed his lips against mine in a very absolute and finishing sort of way. A kiss that spoke a great length on how Joey planned to finish this, and I allowed it to be. I panicked for just a moment when I realized that I had never done this sort of thing before, and I was convinced that I would not be very good at it, but I needn't have worried because soon after that thought crossed my mind another settled into it's place and set my nervous worries to rest. Joey didn't care. Joey would enjoy this no matter what, and as he took over and moved his lips hesitantly at first, and then more forcefully in the absence of my denial, I realized that he _did_ know how to do this sort of thing, and quite well at that. I wasn't entirely sure why I was humoring him in this way, but I gave it no more thought and let him do what he had to do. Maybe now he might leave me alone.

It was over in a matter of seconds, yet for an eternity we were locked together in my mind, and when it was over and he pulled away I wondered why he had. Hadn't he wanted this? The expression on my face must have been full of the question, because he smiled at me and his smile was reassuring, in a sickening way. Sickening to me because I had wanted to see it, I had needed reassurance and had unknowingly shown him that need. This was indeed a different place that I found myself in at the moment.

I looked over at the crowd that had gathered around us and shot them a glare that was filled with a pure and deadly venom and they scattered in fear, somehow instinctively knowing without me having to tell them that I would indeed come for them in the night. When I brought my eyes back to the place where Joey had stood, I found it empty. Joey was no longer there. I looked further away and saw him walking away, surrounded by the reverent masses that circled him indefinitely. Joey was finished. I turned and left in the opposite direction, and made my way home.

Some kind of unspoken agreement had been formed here, but an agreement to what I had no idea. What had I just sold myself into? I made several vain attempts to silence the endless chatter that droned on in my mind at the absence of occupation, but after hours of thinking about not thinking about it, I realized that that, too, was in a sense thinking about it after all. I quit. I thought, and my thoughts carried on far into the evening. And still, the ever present question still remained, as though the very asking of it had infected my mind with a desire to know.

What will it be? Anything at all, whenever I wish. What will it be?

* * *

AN: Oh, lots of fun action here. This was a joy to write, and the words flew continuously from my fingers until I realized that I had written a very long chapter indeed. Happy Birthday. I hope it's not getting out of hand, but the words will not listen to my disagreements. They will be written, even if they have to kill me! I swear, they'll do it! So...what do _you _think? You must speak to me, lest I forget what it means to be human and to interact with others of my own kind. What will it be for you? Anything at all, whatever you wish. What would you take? 


	6. Threat

Desiradatum

A Seto Centric Thingy by Katsuya Kaiba

AN:Chapter Six? Already? How is this happening? Actually, I know how it's happening, and it's not pretty. Here is a visual: Imagine me in a dark room, surrounded by pictures of Mana from Malice Mizer, hunched over the keyboard and typing maniacally, a crazed expression on my face. Now picture Seto Kaiba in a dark room, surrounded by pictures of Joey, shuffling through his deck and making adjustments maniacally, a crazed expression on his face. My gentle friends, I have been possessed by the soul of Seto Kaiba, and I am losing ungodly amounts of sleep. This lazy part time author had made the swift transition into a Workaholic. I am enjoying my time as Seto, but rest assured I will be so very happy when I return to being possesed by Joey. We have so much fun together, although we rarely update anything together. These obsessive updates are the work of Seto's insane capacity for work.

* * *

Love 

n.

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

Just when I thought I had read quite enough, there was even more of this nonsense.

2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Well, that was just great.

3. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

The last thing that I needed was an attatchment.

4. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

I closed the dictionary with an ungodly force and flung it away from me. I watched it as it sailed across the room and slammed into the wall, then fell ungraciously to the floor with a muffled thump. I was not happy, and this book would suffer for the information it held.

These were the things Joey felt for me. This was it, and there was no way around it now that I fully understood all of the ramifications of this infection. Because of this wretched emotion, I had been subjected to intense interrogation, affectionate conversation, intimate confessions, a slap in the face and a very public kiss. And I wasn't even in love with anyone. All of these unfortunate consequences were the inevitable effects that this widespread virus held for all who would stand in it's path. I felt like leaving the country. I most certainly wasn't making any progress here. I wondered to myself what it was that I would consider to be making progress. I supposed that successfully driving Joey away would be an acceptable end.

I laughed quitely at that thought. I couldn't help myself, it was so promising, and yet so very hopeless. I knew that would never happen. All of my more recent attempts at driving Joey away had somehow drawn him to me like an unstoppable magnet. I was impossible to resist.

Well, that much he didn't have to tell me. I was aware.

But in all seriousness, this was something that I needed to sort out, and soon. I looked up at my alarm clock. 12:45. Sighing as I accepted my sleepless fate, I laid my head back on my pillows and gazed up at the ceiling, hoping that some sort of answer might be cleverly hidden in the paint cracks. No such luck. There weren't even any paint cracks to read, since I'd had the whole house repainted less than a year ago, completely snuffing out my chances in detecting a secret message anywhere in the room I was in. I had never felt so...immoveable. I had been backed into a corner, and right now my instincts were threatening to revert back into survival mode. I wasn't sure how I was trapped, or what it was that was pinning me, but I felt a new and unfamiliar restriction settling around the circumference of my mind. I allowed my devious subconscience to hesitantly drift back to that time earlier today, and the feeling that I had sensed washing over me.

'_Some kind of unspoken agreement had been formed here, but an agreement to what I had no idea. What had I just sold myself into?'_

I reached over and grabbed one of the pillows that I was currently not resting upon, and with a groan that spoke of great despair, I placed it over my face and closed my eyes in the darkness underneath. Perhaps here, even I wouldn't be able to see the Truth. I didn't want it, didn't need it, and I definitely didn't ask for it. Yet there it was, shining as brightly and sunnily as the clear and beaming smile that haunted my shadowed thoughts.

There was something inside of me that wouldn't drive him away completely.

Yes, I saw it. I had seen it coming a mile off. But here, underneath this soft and smothering sanctuary, I could look it in the eye and see it unrestrained for what it truly was.

I wasn't as adverse to the idea of Joey as I had originally planned to be. Not only the idea of Joey as he was, but the idea of Joey having those...feelings for me. I had let him kiss me. Without hesitation, and with no attempt to escape or get out of the situation. In all honesty, I had somewhat kissed him back. In no way was I in love with him, but I had an awful suspicion inside of me that whispered of the promise of like. To be in like with Joey Wheeler had become, unbeknownst to me, a feasible option in my mind. When had this occured? As I asked the question in my mind, I immediately was shown the answer, and I resolved to never ask my mind another thing ever again. It knew all the answers, and I didn't care to know them as soon as I saw what they were. I remembered a time that he and I had shared, a time that was not at all long gone. It had been quite recently.

'_I stared at him from where I had fallen on my back, my face to the sky, and I turned my head in order to see him better. The sunlight came from behind Joey's head, making it's way towards the western sky in the late afternoon, and the red and yellow streams of light that filtered through his messy locks made him seem...shinier, for lack of a better description.'_

I could see him as he was then so clearly behind my eyelids, as if my treacherous brain had purposedly burned it into my memory for later use. But now later had finally come, and I saw no use in hiding from anyone or anything, including myself. How could I expect to be rid of this problem if I didn't act against it? All of a sudden I got the impression that time was running out, and the opportunities to stop this were becoming few and far between. I did not need this, and I did not want this. I would have to put an end to all interaction betwwen Joey and I. I would _have to._

* * *

"Kaiba!" 

A voice carried over to me across the crowded school hallways, and without turning my head I quickened my pace. It wasn't Joey's voice, but it was a voice that belonged to someone else that I also did not wish to speak to under any circumstances. Perhaps I could lose him in the crowd.

"Kaiba, wait!"

My efforts were in vain, and within seconds I heard the scurrying footsteps that had been hastily approaching come to a halt in front of me, blocking my path.

Yuugi Mutou. If there had been anyone I wanted to see less than Joey, it would have been this kid.

He looked up at me, which was a fair distance as far as height was concerned, and he smiled before he spoke.

"Kaiba, how are you?" His voice was cheerful and honest, and I got the distinct impression that this boy actually did want to know how I was doing. I impatiently shifted my weight to one of my legs and gave him a very bored and disinterested look.

"Fine."

He blinked at my admission and smiled even wider, if such a thing were possible. I felt a grimace in the works, but I witheld for the moment and decided to wait and see what he had actually come to say to me. Maybe he knew where Joey was. I hadn't seen him at all, and now that the schoolday had ended I realized that Joey had skipped out.

"Do you know where Joey is? He never showed up at school today."

I didn't say anything to him at first. Why the hell would I know where the mutt had run off to? But then I thought of yesterday, and what they had seen...

"How should I know? You're supposed to be his friend, so why can't you keep an eye on him? What makes you think that I would have any idea?" I couldn't have his little entourage getting the impression that something was actually going on between Joey and I. Yuugi gave me a very sheepish look and let his eyes fall to the floor.

"Oh...well, I just thought that maybe...you might be able to tell me what's happening with him. He wouldn't talk to me at all yesterday after we saw you two in the hall...you know. I tried to talk to him, but he was so quiet, and I didn't want him to feel bad, so I just let him go home alone. But now he's skipping class, and..." He trailed off into a questioning silence and brought his eyes back up to gaze into mine. They were misty looking and threatened to spill over at any given moment... "What's going on between you and Joey?"

Christ.

He had come to me for help. Just great. Now I had to clean up Joey's messes as well as suffer the wrath of his affections. This was far too complicated and involving for my tastes. I had to tell Yuugi something, even if it was only to chase away his fears enough so that he might leave me alone. I knew that his overwhelming concern for Joey's well-being might drive him to do a number of things, and if accosting me daily with those tear filled eyes was one of those things, then I might as well correct this problem before it grew to the point of madness. I cannot stand to see people crying, being eaten alive by their own misery and self worth. It was a vile thing to behold.

I drew myself up to my full height and loomed down at the small boy, narrowing my eyes in a menacing fashion. Perhaps this might be easier for me to say if I did it in a very threatening way. It had always helped me out before.

"If I tell you, will you go away?"

Yuugi nodded enthusiastically. He hadn't expected this to work, and he must have been surprised that I would say anything to him at all, especially on a subject such as this. I supposed that if I had cared enough about it, I would have been surprised as well.

"Has Joey ever mentioned anything to you about someone that he liked?" I didn't want to give up any information that I didn't have to, so I decided to test the water in order to determine just what I needed to say and no more or less. This wasn't any of my business.

"No, he never said anything about another person that he liked. But has been acting funny for awhile now. I thought that he would tell me what was wrong when he was ready, so I didn't bother him about it." Yuugi continued to gaze at me wide eyed and confused, and I felt my lip curl of it's own accord. My god, the sheer emotion that this kid spilled forth was disgusting...

"Well, Joey told me that he was in love with me. Twice, actually. First he told me that he liked me in a rather obscure way, but when I questioned him about it later he accidentally let it slip that he had indeed fallen in love." Why was this so hard? Each word that I spoke seemed to take ages just to fall from my lips. The entire scene now felt like it was playing in a slower pace, and the seconds dragged on forever. This had no effect on me. So why was it so hard to say aloud?

"Really? When...when did he tell you?" Yuugi was taking the news a lot better than I had expected. Evidently it wasn't an issue for him who Joey was on about. All he cared about was his friend. How touching.

"Awhile ago. He didn't talk to me for a month or so, because I had...said something to him that was insulting, and he took it badly. But yesterday he seemed to be over it."

Yuugi was silent for a few seconds, and he appeared to be thinking about what I had just told him. It was a lot to take in one go, especially if you hadn't the slightest clue about it previously, having only witnessed a very confusing kiss. His face told me that something just wasn't clicking in his mind, and he spoke again, more quietly this time.

"Were you guys hiding it from us because you thought that we might disagree?"

What?

"No, you don't understand. _WE_ are not _hiding_ anything. There is no _we_. There is only Joey and his one sided infatuation. You can tell him that when you see him, if you want." I was finished here. I was extremely tired of unintentionally getting hopelessly entangled in other people's problems, and I stepped around Yuugi and left him where he stood.

"Kaiba." Yuugi's voice, although normally whisper soft, was strongly emphasized by the now empty hallway and it was amplified as it traveled to where I now stood still. I didn't turn to face him, but I stood firm and silent to hear the last thing he had to say. I hadn't heard him move either, so we were most likely facing in opposite directions, which was how I normally preferred to carry a conversation in the first place.

"If there is nothing between the two of you, why did you kiss him back yesterday?"

I said nothing. I had nothing to say, honestly. I didn't know the answer to that question, either. I wished that I did. He took my silence as the answer that it was and continued. His attitude was different now, almost as though he were challenging me to prove him wrong. This must be that...other one, or whatever.

"I will only say this once, Kaiba, and never again, so remember it well. Joey is my friend, and if you toy with his emotions and break his heart, you know that I will come for you. So I suggest that you decide on what it is you want. Joey would allow you to string him along forever, I'm sure, but I will not allow you that luxury. So make your choice."

As soon as he was finished, I continued walking away and never looked back. That arrogant asshole was always sticking his nose where it didn't belong. Unfortunately, I knew from experience that he had the power to back up his threats, so I remained silent and heard what he had to say.

I already knew all that. Why did he have to shove it in my face? I knew that I had to make a decision. I...I knew. I knew it, I just...I didn't want to look at it. I wanted it to fix itself. I wanted Joey to fix it for me. I thought back to when I had demanded that he fix it, and chuckled deeply to myself at the memory. But he had been correct in saying that I needed to fix myself. I just didn't know how. I couldn't wrap my mind around all of the foreign emotions and spastic thoughts that fluctuated wildly each time I saw him, talked to him, thought about him. It was consuming me, and I had to fix it. I wondered what it was that I had to do.

I wanted to go Home. So I went to look for Joey Wheeler.

I didn't know where he lived, not exactly. I knew the general area, but that didn't help me. So I went back to my house and chose a car to drive myself around in. I knew that any car would do, but although I didn't want to acknowledge the fact at the time, I decided on a particular vehicle that was most impressive and with a satisfied air I opened the door and got inside. If I was going down, it would have to be in style. And a little style never hurt anyone, especially when I might be picking up someone who I might want to impress.

The moment I heard that last thought as it ran across my mind, I froze in my seat and let my head fall onto the steering wheel in a fit of despair. What the hell was wrong with me? When had I given in to this little game of Joey's? I didn't care what he thought of me. I didn't care what anyone thought of me. That wasn't true...

My thoughts ran into one another and they fought and clawed as each one tried to come out as the clearest, as the loudest, but the one that won in the end was the last and the least listened to.

That wasn't true. I did care, and it infuriated me, but the thought wasn't nearly as infuriating as the other thought that I had been avidly pushing away. The idea of Joey, suffering alone somewhere because he thought that he couldn't ever speak to me again. I stopped thinking altogether and simply acted. I acted and drove off into the fading sunset, racking my brain for all the places that I had heard of Joey wasting away his time in. I supposed that the first order of business was to check into that understocked game store that Yuugi lived in. Why anyone would go there was beyond me, the only time I had ever been there I had seen what a pathetic selection they kept.

I needed to clear my head. Insults wouldn't get me anywhere, as much as I hated to admit that. This was uncharted territory, and I was going to have to be nicer if I wanted to get any information from that Yuugi kid. I wasn't going to insult anyone, but I never said anything about deviously acquiring information. There had to be some middle ground.

The cheap bell that was strung along the front door jangled as I forcefully shoved it open and strode inside importantly. Yuugi sat behind the counter and watched me as I wasted no time and walked directly up to him.

"Well, Kaiba, that was quick. I assume you want to know where you might find Joey."

No, not Yuugi. That other one, the one I hated even more than I hated Yuugi himself. I almost wanted to slap him for being so knowledgable, but I knew that if I did that he probably wouldn't give me any information. He must have known this as well, if he was able to mock me so openly with that smug look on his face. I bit the inside of my cheek and supressed the inner rage.

"Yes." I spoke and was surprised at the low tone in my voice. I sounded really angry.

Yuugi thought this was quite amusing, and laughed quietly to himself as he watched my face. He was searching for something, and he must have found what he was looking for because he stood up from where he sat and motioned for me to follow him. I walked behind the counter and followed his footsteps to a door in the back of the store.

"This is the way into Yuugi's house," he said with an air of finality. "If you want to talk to Joey, he's inside." With that being said, he went back to where I had first found him and sat down, watching me out of the corner of his eye. I looked back at him and nodded my head in thanks. He waved me away, and I opened the door and stepped inside.

I scanned the surroundings quickly, and saw Joey within seconds, lying on the couch and watching something on the television. He was sprawled out in a lazy fashion, and it seemed as though he wasn't really paying too much attention to the screen. He had heard me enter and must have thought I was Yuugi, because he turned his head and I saw that he wore a smile that faded the instant his eyes fell upon the sight of me. Gee, great to see you, too.

"Kaiba? What are you doing here? I thought you hated this shop." His face was shocked, as well as a little frightened. I suspected that he thought I had come here to take my revenge for that kiss. Ha. It was good to strike fear into someone's heart again, and I smiled at the feeling before I corrected him. It just never gets old.

"I came to get you. Now get up, we're leaving." Leaving no room for argument, I turned away from him and opened the door that I had come in through, expecting him to immediately follow me. I heard no movement and I impatiently whirled around to see just what it was that he was doing. He hadn't even gotten up from the couch, althought he was now sitting as opposed to lying down.

"Hello? I said we're leaving."

Joey looked at me hesitantly before speaking. "Why?"

Each second that passed brought another wave of anger. Why did I have to answer to everyone all of a sudden? I bit back the comments that rose from within and twisted my features until they somewhat resembled indifference. It was better than rage, at the very least.

"Because I need to talk to you, and I don't want to do it here where that meddling fool will eavesdrop on what I have to say."

Joey blinked at me for a few moments before making his decision. He stood up from the couch and followed me out the door, waving goodbye to Yuugi as he left the shop with me.

"I heard that, Kaiba." Yuugi's other called out as I walked out the door.

"Precisely my point." I shouted back as I slammed the door shut, the bells jangling furiously under the force of my actions. I knew it.

Joey silently followed me to my car and got in the passenger side as I opened my own door and got inside as well.

"Nice car." he said quietly. I smirked as I started up the engine, going down in style.

* * *

AN: Can't you just see Seto doing everything in this chapter with that look on his face going "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" You know, all Seto needs is a nudge in the right direction. Well...maybe a kick in the face...in the right direction. And yes, the introduction of the other characters was imminent. I knew that. I just didn't want to admit it. But Yami really knows how to work people, even though I may not like how he abuses that power. Whatever. This is how I torture Seto. I torture Joey by making him bleed and do horrible things to himself. I torture Seto by making him _feel._ Isn't that amusing? I hope that you are still enjoying this story. I sure am. I want to give you something to believe in. I want you to see all of these things that I write about clearly in your mind, as though they actually happened. Perhaps you might believe that they exist, and this is a beautiful concept. I want to give you something to think about, as you lay awake at night. A way to picture Seto and Joey that is so exiting and so thrilling that you will have a fit of happiness and cover your walls in puppyshipping pictures. I have. Smile, for there is happiness for these two! I will create it. 


	7. Taken

Desideratum

A Seto Centric Thingy by Katsuya Kaiba

AN:I had terrible writer's block for two days, and I couldn't figure out why, because up until chapter five this story had been taking me by storm. You know. Then, as I was trying to write chapter six and failing miserably, I had a sudden realization: Seto didn't want me to write the rest of the story, because beginning with chapter six and continuing for the rest of this story, he was going to have to admit a few things about his emotions. And he didn't want to, so he stopped telling me what to write. Well, I'm still posting, so you know that I won that battle. Here is how it went. By the way, my real name is Jessica.

Jessica: Seto, I'm going to finish this story, and you _are_ going to tell me how it happened. You can't just tell me all of that other stuff and then flake out when we get to the good parts.

Seto: Yes I can.

Jessica: So you want me to just make up the rest of it?

Seto: I don't care.

Jessica: So, I can write whatever I want?

Seto: I don't care.

Jessica: Fine. Ahem. Desideratum, Chapter Seven. Seto walked up to Joey apprehensively, as though there were something that he couldn't hold back any longer. Without warning he grabbed Joey by the waist and kissed him passionately, and the fire that burned brightly between them grew to an unstoppable force. Then Seto said to Joey, "Oh, Joey, I cannot spend another second without you by my side. Marry me, and spend the rest of your life with me." Joey smiled at Seto and nodded, and the two of them met in another kiss that was romantic and feral at once. Then they got married and were ever so in love, forever and ever, and Seto was so nice to Joey all of the time, and never again insulted him or called him a dog. They had lots of little babies and lived in a little white house with a picket fence and were happy until the end of time. THE END.

Seto: ...I will tell you how it ends if you promise me that you will never speak of this again.

So that is how I won. And I got to post that too, in a weird way, but do not tell Seto that I told you this. He'd kill me in my sleep.

* * *

The drive back to my house was solemn and silent, and the apprehension that hung in the air was stifling. I kept running over the possibilities of what I might say to him in my head, but I knew that once I sat him down and told him what I had to say that I would hear it for myself and learn it along with him. I had no clue as to what I might tell him. I would just open my mouth and speak, and whatever came out would be...it. I had no master plan, no winning strategy worked out, and nothing but confusion to go off of at this point. But what I did know made me both nervous and relaxed at once. 

This would be resolved tonight.

"Hey Kaiba, where are we going?" Joey's voice was fearful and tried not to show it, but I could hear it underneath his casual facade. Hadn't I told him?

"We're going back to my place."

Joey's face lit up and he looked less nervous and more excited. "Really? I've never seen what it looks like inside! I'll bet it's huge..." His enthusiastic tone faded as he once again remembered who he was speaking to, and his smile fell a bit, but not wholly. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye, and desperately trying not to at the same time. I watched his smile fade and nearly felt bad that he felt the need to restrain himself in my presence, so I extended a small truce.

"Well, the kitchen is, anyway. Isn't that what you're after?" I wasn't at all friendly, but...I think that he understood what I was trying to do becuase his true smile replaced his forced one, and I felt him fully relax for the first time.

"Yeah, I guess so..." Being friendly with Seto Kaiba is unnerving, and I understood that. But being friendly with Joey Wheeler was just as unnerving for me, and I hoped that he knew he wasn't alone in that.

Arriving at my house at long last, I led him inside and allowed him to first run around the place and look around before I grabbed his arm and dragged him into my room, shutting the door behind us. When I turned to face him I found him awkwardly standing in the center of the room, looking down at the floor, unsure of what he was supposed to do.

"Sit." I commanded, and he complied and sat on the edge of my bed immediately, as though he were afraid of what I might do lest he disobey. I sighed exasperatedly and sat down beside him, unsure of what to do myself. Unsure of why I had brought him here in the first place, and completely unaware of what I had to say next.

"Look, don't act like that. I'm not angry at you." I didn't look at Joey, and instead I watched my hands as they fidgeted with one another, surprised at just how shaken I was in this situation.

"Really?" Joey's voice seemed to shatter a certain silence that had formed, but perhaps it was all in my mind. Or perhaps it was the way that Joey's voice sounded when he spoke from inside my room. No one had ever been in here besides me, and his voice was the first that I had heard in here save my own.

"Really." It didn't even need to be said, but I knew that Joey was the sort of person who needed an answer to a rhetorical question. God, was it incredibly hot in here? I was so stiff and rigid, and I tried to relax a bit, but it never happened. I wondered if I might just sit here like this all night with him in silence. The thought wasn't a bad one. Sitting in silence with Joey might be alright. It would be a lot better than sitting in silence by myself. At least there would be someone there beside me. Someone there beside me…

"So, then...what did you want to say to me?" Joey wasn't persistent, nor did he sound impatient. He was nudging me with his words, as though sensing that I wouldn't speak without provocation. Was it really so strange that he could read me the same way that I could read him?

What did I want to say to him? I looked at him beside me, and I truly liked the way that he looked. The way that he looked by my side. Oh, god. This was taking a terrible turn for the worst. It didn't matter what I thought about the situation, not any longer. Everything that had happened between the two of us had changed me in a strange way, in a way that I had no control over. In a way that I couldn't hope to fight. Even if I had planned out each and every word that I wanted to say to him, I knew that in this moment, staring at him as he stared at me, I would have thrown it all out the window and simply spoken aloud my thoughts, hoping that I might be able to answer the question that I could never answer. The answer I had promised him, weeks ago. I decided that the best thing to do was to speak, before his eyes grew any wider. I think that he was afraid of what I might have to tell him, and each second that I spent stalling for time was another second that he spent waiting in agony.

"What I have to say…" What did I have to say? I had no idea. I would know the second that the words fell from my mouth. And that was all that I had. I was not satisfied. I wasn't. I knew that, and I had to do something. And if Joey were the only one who could help me out of this mess that my life had become, then I would have to tell him. I knew that there was more I had to say, so much more, but those things would come on their own. I opened my mouth and let the words drop into the air between us.

"I think that if you ask me the question again, I might be able to tell you the true answer. I'm not sure what the answer is, even now, but I think that I could know. I need you to fix this." It wasn't a command. It was a plea. I needed him to help me sort all of this out. There were so many clouded and murky emotions swimming throughout my mind, I couldn't even begin to identify them all, let alone deal with them accordingly. This was too much, it was too much, and I was about to break.

"Ask me your question again, if you think that it will be worth your trouble."

Joey had been watching me the entire time, both when I was speaking and when I was hopelessly attempting to speak. His eyes were so wide and curious, and I realized how close they were to my own just then. Perhaps a few inches, maybe less. I was so afraid, but he didn't move in my direction. He saw the fear in my eyes. I nearly gave up and ran out of the room just then. In a way I was angry that he had seen a weakness of mine, but I had seen many of his as well, so I supposed that we were even. At least for the moment.

Sweet apple honey. That phrase had been silently spinning endlessly for a few minutes now, and I made the connection suddenly in my mind. That was what his eyes reminded me of. Apple honey. I'd had it once, long ago, and the memory of the time had been lost to me until just in that moment. A great many things had been lost to me, only to be rescued by Joey and salvaged from the torn and forgotten pile that was my satisfaction. Perhaps he really could fix what he had broken. Or perhaps he had never broken anything at all.

"I understand what it's for. You work so hard so you can have everything. But now I don't understand something else..." Joey spoke from memory, and I knew at once that he had realized what it was that I was asking of him. I almost smiled at the thought. His voice was filled with hesitation and worry, but he tried so hard not to show it, wanting to fix everything for me. Joey always tried so hard, and for the most part it was all in vain. Or at least, it was in my eyes. But maybe there was something in it for him, as well. Maybe I didn't see as much as I thought I did.

"You have everything, right?" His eyes were holding my own in place, and I couldn't look away no matter how much I may have needed to. This was much harder than I had anticipated. And still I had no idea what I would say when the time came for me to answer.

I nodded quietly. I certainly used to think so.

"Well, now that you have it, what will you do now? Anything at all, whenever you wish. What will you take?"

I knew. I knew the answer, but the words would make it real. To speak something is to give it a name, and to give something a name is to give it life. I vaguely wondered if I really wanted to go through with all of this, but it seemed to be far too late, because as I was thinking that I heard myself speaking, and it became truly too late.

"You." I heard what I said, and my hand nearly flew up to cover my mouth, but I knew in my mind that there would be no resolution in that. What was said was said, and whether or not I wanted to hear it, it was the truth.

I wanted to run away. I wanted to go home. Home. Joey…The connection was made in my mind for the very first time, and I stood up abruptly and stared down at him from where he still sat on the bed, apparently digesting the information I had said aloud.

"Joey…I want to go Home. Not here," I motioned at the room that surrounded us," but Home. Every time I've ever felt that I wanted to go Home, I went to find you. I know that it sounds ridiculous. Trust me, I can hear myself, and I know that everything that I'm telling you is illogical, but…still…I have to say that…"

Damn it, this was the Truth. Nowhere to run, nowhere to push everything away to. I was sick of pushing it all so deep inside of me, only to have it all come rushing back up to the surface in the wake of Joey Wheeler.

"I have to say that…if I could take anything at all for myself in this world, I would take you. But I'm afraid that because of the things that I've done, the only thing that I would like to take might be the only thing that I cannot have. It is to be expected, I know, and I understand if you want to leave."

I held my breath and closed my eyes. If he actually got up and left now, I didn't know what I might do. Something rash and emotionally fueled, no doubt. I listened so closely for any signs of movement, and not more than a second later I heard him stand up from my bed. Footsteps quietly made their way across the room, and I immediately braced myself for the defeating sound of the closing of my bedroom door. How foolish of me to think that he would do anything other than reject me, as I had done for him. Why had I even bothered?

I had bothered because it had to be said. And even though I had lost, I knew that I would never go back and change what I had just done.

I was so afraid to open my eyes that I never noticed what was happening right before them. There was a tingling sensation on my lips, and I realized that I was feeling the light swirls of air caused by someone's breath dangerously close to my own. As I opened my eyes in shock, I was met with two things, all in the same moment. The first thing that I noticed was that I was staring straight into that gorgeous shade of apple honey, and the sight of it encompassed everything. It was all that I could see.

The second thing that I noticed, after I got over the shock of Joey Wheeler's proximity, was the very tense and nervous feeling that rose up within me as I realized that I was being kissed. Kissed by the same Joey Wheeler, the one who had so daringly kissed me before. I froze, and I felt that Joey sensed my nervous reaction, because he lifted up his hands and entangled them in the front of my shirt, holding me in place. It wasn't an order, but it was a request. A request for me to kiss him back. I was still and silent for a few moments more, hesitating in the face of victory.

Until I realized that I had won. Once again, I had taken whatever it was that I wanted. I had everything. I was satisfied. I was. But most importantly, I was Home. And I never wanted to leave this place. Never again. And Seto Kaiba never hesitates in the face of Victory.

So I kissed him back. I took Joey by the waist and kissed him with the force of everything I had inside of me, and it was just enough to make him see what this victory meant to me.

I didn't love Joey. Not by a long shot. And whether or not I love him now isn't anyone's business but my own. Even if I did, I certainly wouldn't say it were so. But I can safely say that in that particular moment, I was most assuredly in 'like' with Joey. And it wasn't such an awful thing, although it was terribly unsettling. I suppose it always will be. It is illogical and dangerous, and very nearly not worth all the trouble that it causes. Very nearly.

* * *

AN: Oh, god. It's all over! How depressing! What's even more depressing is the fact that I had to type it twice. Argh. My computer is dead. No longer amongst the living. And it took chapter seven along with it. But it was all worth it! I loved typing this and I loved being Seto and I need to SLEEP! I'm typing this at my friend's house because I have nothing else, but I had to finish this story before it drove me insane. I simply had to. And Seto did cave in the end…HAHAHA! I knew it. He's such a big softie…I didn't want to give out the happily ever after ending because it's all crap. But I did instill a little hope for the future. This fic wasn't about how they got together. This fic was about how Seto managed to _avoid_ getting together for so long. He's really amazing, isn't he? Maybe I'll continue it, but in Joey's eyes from now on. Seto thinking mushy thoughts is a big no for me. A great big huge thanks you to all who reviewed. I love you all. No, really… 


End file.
